Sometimes, condolences just aren't enough...

Growing up, my parents always taught my brother and I that all we had were one another. They helped us to understand that death was eminent and they would precede us in death. We understand the order of the life cycle – 1^st grandparents, 2^nd parents, 3^rd siblings/self. We got it. Whether we wanted to accept death or not was up to us, but we understood it. As the years progressed people began to precede us in death – 1^st grandparents, then friends…. Friends were not in the equation. Friends were a new thing. Fast forward to 2007 … I had buried more people than my parents combined. Mind you, my parents are 30 years my senior. Something is off. Due to my experiences in life, I have grown to know the grieving process well. I have buried all 4 of my grandparents, I have buried two teachers, I have buried countless classmates, associates, siblings of friends and a godbrother. Yet and still, every process is different. My mind understands but my heart doesn’t. My ears hear but my soul doesn’t accept it. And now, this. I am not sorry for this loss, for it was not my doing. However, I am empathetic, sympathetic, remorseful, saddened, heartbroken, stuck, numb, unsure of what is actually occurring. This is a nightmare. You know, when you go to sleep and experience something and are trying to cry for help but it never comes out and FINALLY you wake up after all of the bad was done? This is what that is. Yesterday I found out. I talked about it. I settled in it. But, I could not settle through it or around it. Another soul is gone. Another body will be laid to rest. Another family is in mourning. Another baby is left fatherless. Another single mother is raising a baby boy. This isn’t a why. This isn’t a cry for help. This is a realization of the occurrences that happen in life. Nobody told me this road would be easy. But, if I know nothing else, I know that God did not come this far to leave them all by themselves. This village has been created and developed to catch them when they fall, provide some comic relief when they need a life, prepare a dish when they are hungry. This village has been developed to walk down this road with them until we can no longer walk. This village has been developed to make sure their support is there 20 years from now when DJ can look to heaven and say “Dad I made it” as a college graduate defying the odds in a single parent household in the Detroit metro area. This village will still be there. It is not going to fade tomorrow after a few days have passed and everyone has said their “I’m sorry’s”. This village is not going to fade next week after the funeral and the burial. This village is not going to fade after his first birthday after his death. This village is not going to fade after the first anniversary of his death. This village will not fade because God is in it. God does not make mistakes and Brian served his purpose here on this earth. We do not know the time nor the hour that we will be called home nor are we to question Gods doings on this natural earth. So I thank God in advance for the strength he has given me to help Lauren in every capacity I can help with as she lays her brother to rest. I thank God for the words he has given me to speak life into her every chance I can get. And, I thank God for allowing me to love her unconditionally and be the friend that she needs as she needs me. In Jesus’ name, I thank God in advance for everything he has placed inside of me to continue to walk down this road. Amen.

Separation Anxiety

Today, my puppy was put to sleep. It's amazing the attachment different animals can have to one another. She may not have been perfect, as none of us are. But, she was perfect to me. 

Love always, g. 

Challenge Accepted

Hey guys!

I'm going to start weekly changes that I will post every Sunday. Had a hiccup in exercising but I'm back now!

This weeks challenge: (complete all daily)
- 1 gallon of water
- 1 Nike training club workout
- 2 servings of fruit
- 2 servings of vegetable
- no fried food
- no sweets
- no pop
- no juice (not even in smoothies)

Dont forget to take pictures every Sunday! I will also be tracking my weight and measurements on Tuesdays (because that's my weigh in day). Also, if you haven't already, download the LoseIt! app. It's amazing.

See you all next week! Good luck!

Eat Less

Duh!

Thanks to the interwebs my new found inspiration comes from Big Sister K. Possibly a year ago, we were "introduced" on twitter and then started following each other Instagram. She slowly but surely became one of my inspirations, motivations, and aspirations. She's been dedicated to her journey for 13 months and has been very successful. I have traveled on my journey for 26 years with little success.

I finally asked her how much she lost and how long it took. She told me in 13 months she lost 105 pounds. I then asked how. She told me "eat less".

It's amazing how simple that seems yet how challenging it actually is. Today I started yet another mission incorporating what I learned on Shred, continuing my weight management classes, taking it a step further with weight watchers and now using the LoseIt app to track my progress.

Per usual, I will keep you updated with my progress and what works for me and what doesn't. Today is the first day of eating less. Lets see how this goes!

Progress...

Last Tuesday I added another lifestyle change component: weight watchers. After seeing that I was losing minimal weight I'm glad I began weight watchers. With shred, I learned how to eat. With weight watchers I'm learning what to eat.

And today, I finally saw some progress. In my workout close, I felt like I looked smaller. Today, this is what progress looks like.

Reality Check

So this week I started the Shred Diet again. But, I also started weight watchers. Pairing the two might be the best decision yet. I wasn't understanding why I wasn't losing weight on the shred. I lost 5 pounds and didn't gain it back along with 2 sizes, but I was struggling to lose 20.

In starting weight watchers, I realized my food is high in calories (points). I'm eating entirely too much in each single day. I'm so glad I'm having this revelation now so I can nip it in the bud and start losing.

This journey has been very challenging and very emotional. I don't want to give up and am not ready to give up.

I will change my measuring day to Tuesday so it can match my weigh in day.

I will be successful at this!

It's been a challenge... time for March

My instagram followers are always letting me know just how motivated and dedicated I am. Quiet as its kept, I am not as motivated and dedicated as I would like to be. It is truly a struggle to eat right and exercise, but I have made a conscience decision to do so. It's time for me to measure again and to track my weight, I will do both of those things on the 8th of March.

I have began attending weight management classes which give me insight on how I should be doing thing. It offers tricks on how to maintain weight, continue to lose weight, what foods to eat and what foods to avoid. I get discouraged often but I have not given up yet.

At work, weight watchers has come back, so I am going to attend those meetings as well. These are all ways for me to remain accountable. I can't backslide. I have a goal to meet so that the rest of my life can be filled with the best days of my life.

I am still working to get this bikini body by summer time and boy oh boy, it is ROUGH! But, again, I havent given up. April is the month that I am scheduled to run my first 5k so I have to kick my running into overdrive. May is the month that I am scheduled to run my first 10k so again, I have to kick my running into overdrive. And, I have to stay on track so that I can run a half marathon this October. Regardless of how often I run, I get really nervous when I think about running an actual race.

My workouts still include yoga, bootcamp and gym time at work. This week I am vowing (to myself and my readers) to attend bootcamp every morning and yoga every night. In the middle (or at the end) I will go to the gym at work and work on perfecting my 5k in 30 minutes or less. It takes 28 days to make a habit and I would be more than happy to make that my habit EVERY week. I have no excuse to go to bootcamp every morning. I have no excuse to go to yoga every night. I have no excuse to run in the gym once a day. But, I need to up the anti and get it together.

My clothes are still fitting better and I still see changes in my body, I am just ready to kick it into overdrive.

For this month, I have agreed to consider some challenges ... first to 10,000 ab challenge (even if I don't win, I would like to complete this challenge), a burpee challenge (that I havent even started yet) and if I find any other challenges I will be sure to post some things.

Check back in on Friday when I let the blogsphere know if my inches have decreased and my weight has lightened.

g.

(See below for some ab exercises that I love.)

Check the website below for photos on how to properly complete the exercises
(http://m.prevention.com/fitness/strength-training/2-week-belly-flattening-routine?page=3)


(Do 12 to 15 reps of each move in the order shown)

Between each exercise, do a cardio burst--2 minutes of jumping rope, marching or jogging in place, stair climbing or stepping, or doing jumping jacks.

Remember to warm up and cool down by marching or stepping side to side in place for 3 to 5 minutes at the beginning and end of your workout.

Cardio Burst: These 2-minute high-energy bouts will double your calorie burn to speed up fat loss and reveal a slimmer belly in less time.

1. Reverse Crunch

Lie faceup with calves resting on ball, arms at sides. Press legs into ball, squeezing it between calves and thighs. Contract abs and lift hips 3 to 6 inches off floor and pull knees toward chest. Hold for 1 second, then lower.

(Cardio burst: 2 minutes)

Make it easier Contract abs and just lift ball off floor, keeping hips down.

Make it harder Keeping neck in line with spine, lift head and shoulders off floor as you raise hips. Hold, then lower both upper body and hips.

2. Rock and Roll

Start on knees, with legs about hip-width apart. Place fists on ball in front of you. Keeping body in line from head to knees and abs tight, lean forward and roll onto forearms. Hold for 1 second, then roll back to start.

(Cardio burst: 2 minutes)

Make it easier Bend hips instead of keeping body in a straight line as you roll onto forearms, or keep body in line and roll only partway onto forearms.

Make it harder Once you're balancing on forearms, straighten legs and press balls of feet into floor to form a straight line from head to heels. Hold for 15 to 30 seconds and repeat.

3. Ball Curl

Sit on ball, walk feet forward, and roll torso down until bottom of butt is just off ball and middle and lower back are on ball, feet together. Place hands behind head. Lean back, pressing upper back into ball, then exhale, contract abs, and curl forward until upper back lifts off ball.

(Cardio burst: 2 minutes)

Make it easier Place feet wider than hip-width apart for more stability, and cross arms over chest.

Make it harder Straighten one leg so it's parallel to floor and you're balancing on one foot. Do half the repetitions, then switch legs to finish.

4. Skier

Lie over ball on all fours. Walk hands forward so ball rolls under thighs, legs together, abs tight, and body in line from head to toes. Bend knees and pull them and ball (it will roll to shins) toward right shoulder. Hold for 1 second, then roll back out and repeat to left side.

(Cardio burst: 2 minutes)

Make it easier Hold start position—body in line from head to toes, abs contracted--for 15 to 30 seconds. Repeat one more time.

Make it harder Start with ball under shins and let it roll to tops of feet as you draw knees in.

5. Pike

Start in the same position as the Skier, legs together, ball under thighs, balancing on hands, and body in line from head to toes. Keeping legs straight, contract abs and lift hips up toward ceiling, rolling ball to shins. Hold for 1 second, then lower. (Cardio burst: 2 minutes)

Make it easier Lift hips just a few inches and roll ball to about knees.

Make it harder Start with ball under shins and roll to tops of feet and lift hips so torso is as vertical as possible, like you're doing a handstand.