Dating Chronicles: Episode 3

They forget to tell you that in entrepreneurship you are going to spend a lot of time alone. Some days you will love it. Some days you won't notice it. And some days it will be the bane of your existence. You know that old adage "its lonely at the top" - *spoiler alert* the climb is pretty lonely too. 

Being alone is cool, most of the time. I'm an introvert. I literally enjoy my own company. Sometimes, though... only sometimes, I wish I had someone to share some excitement with. Sometimes, I wish I had someone to laugh at and with. Sometimes, I just want to cuddle up on the couch with my person not saying anything. 

But, only sometimes. 

I met a guy on Instagram, judge ya muva. I'm pretty sure I slid in his DM's (Because, hey guys, confession - I'm a professional shot shooter. I literally need to do a blog series on women shooting shots. It's great. You make about 93% of the shots you take.) and told him he was attractive, or something. We talked a few times, briefly, but he wanted to meet, so, we did. One night, I was out with some friends downtown and suggested he come to the bar we were at. He did. I saw him as he was approaching and said - cool, he looks like his picture. So, I shared my location with the friends I was with, and he and I walked around the corner to a restaurant and just hung out for a bit. 

Moment of honesty: I wasn't all that interested about 5 minutes in. 

We kept chatting, but we didn't really talk about anything. There was no substance. Yet, as days progressed, here he was calling and here I was answering. Then, one day, I called and he answered and said "you must be bored, what's up". I laughed and said "I am."

In that moment, I realized, he was there in the moments I felt as if I was alone and wanted someone close by. I would call, he would be busy. But, I would keep calling - when I wanted to be close to someone. Because, lbvs, hugs are important and his were good. 

We spent some time together one day and I realized - Lord, I don't trust this man. Then I said to myself, Baby girl, what IS you doin'? Are you begging for attention? 

Dating Tip #3:

Stop begging,

you're not a dog.

    - @thegarnetexperience

I was begging. I was. I ...

...I appreciated the fact that he was responsive. Though rarely available, he would make time - in time, at the craziest moments, to be available for me. I would literally throw out "we should probably actually date, you know, go on dates" all the time. But, we never went anywhere. We never did anything. We never talked. We would literally meet for hugs, strange - yet, necessary. I would literally beg for his time, throwing out days and times to gather, until he was available. 

WHO. DOES. THAT. 

This dating road is hard. It has lots of lumps and bumps and detours and backups and traffic jams and "unable to find location" announcements. It's ok. In time, your route will be clear and unobstructed. And, in that moment, your path will cross the path of someone that is intended for you. Just because you are alone, you don't have to be lonely. Just because you yearn for attention, you don't have to involve yourself with people you are truly uninterested in. Just because you want someone to fill some space, doesn't mean you need to beg for people to enter in. 

Address the elephant in the room - yourself.

You feel alone? Cool.

Here are some suggestions of what you can do other than call that person because you're bored and beg them to make themselves available for you: (*spoiler alert* It doesn't end well. Trust me.)

1. Read a book.

2. Watch a movie.

3. Go to the mall.

4. Call your mom.

5. Respond to that text you ignored yesterday.

6. Go for a walk around the block.

7. Do some laundry.

8. Go to an open house in a neighborhood you love but can't afford yet.

9. Try that new restaurant that just opened down the street.

10. Volunteer at a homeless shelter.

Even if you choose something that isn't on that list, don't start calling random people spending precious moments you can't get back just because you are afraid to spend time by yourself. 

Until the next date.....

- garnet terri