12 October 2009

I gave up religion for relationship ...

((12, october, 2009))

So, I was on facebook today and decided I wanted to talk to a friend that I havent spoken to in ages. I cant even remember the last time we had a conversation. Well, we began the conversation on his finance and him wanting to blog instead. Then we talked about my job ... we caught up. And then it turned into a testimonial conversation. We started talking about God and following His word, walking in faith and not fighting the battles at hand. Of course I was raised in the church. But, until my sophomore year of college, I was a part of a religion. I was a religious follower of something I was not truly connected to. Sure, I believed in God and the trinity, but I believed in a lot of things. I followed my families guidance and did what seemed to be a good idea.

After beginning school I wanted a relationship. I wanted a romantic relationship, a platonic relationship, a consistent relationship, a perfect relationship. Now, what better than to have a relationship with God ... Now, Im a control freak. I dont like not being in control. I like leading as much as humanly possible, but with God ... thats not happening.

"it's like i wanna be part of a tag team in these fights and struggles in life, when really im just an excited spectator who gets in his way and slows stuff down and gets injured and needs to be repaired" - CR

Its interesting what catching up can offer you. And, nothing makes me happier than talking to my male friends about God. Halle!

Do you have religious views or are you in a relationship?

07 October 2009

fiftytwopluseight

2009.08.october

Sometimes life happens. Ok, life always happens. But, what do you do when life interrupts your living.

As I get ready for the transition back home I think of my losses and my gains. I think about Japan, the place I now call home vs. America that was always my home. I will miss so many things. I will miss the cleanliness. I will miss the safety. I will miss the convenience. I will miss the cordiality. I will miss the helpfulness. I will miss the dedication. I will miss the tenacity to culture. I will miss my apartment. I will miss traveling in Asia. I will miss my kids. But, most of all I will miss knowing. I will miss knowing what to expect.

In heading back to America I have no idea what to expect. Actually, I retract that statement. I know I can count on a lot of lies and deceit. I am sure I will encounter racism. I am quite positive I will see some violence. I can probably count on feeling very unsafe. I can count on a lot of negativity.

How could I feel so strongly about the negatives that America has to offer? I mean, I truly look forward to being able to call my mom all day every day just because I have some random question. I will be very happy to go see one of my brothers shows again. I mean I guess they both have their perks, but Japan may have just been my heaven on Earth.

lets see whats next...