Under The Influence

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't like someone romantically, or, they didn't like you? Yes, I know you have. Maybe its simply because you (or the other person) is under the influence.

So many times people take suggestions from friends that they don't even realize when they are under the influence. But, in this instance, I am almost CONFIDENT you are. Well, the proverbial you of course...

Let's insert some names to make it easier ... you have Joshua and Melissa. Joshua and Melissa have been dating for a while when Joshua decides he is not interested in a relationship. Joshua has decided that he doesnt want to be with a girl that he spends ALL of his time with. Joshua has even told Melissa his feelings. Melissa, being his main woman, is confused. She does not understand how this man can feel this way out of the blue. Well, Melissa realizes that everyone loves her. His friends love her. His family loves her. Maybe this scares Joshua away. Joshua seems to believe that he cant like Melissa because everyone else does. Instead he chooses the girl that he can have to himself, he chooses the girl that no one would approve us, so he never takes her around anyone.

What is this about?

-ahava-

11, May, 2011

Literally, Overanalyzing Valuable Emotions

Love: Literally Overanalyzing Valuable Emotions

The Conversation

So, you two are together? MMMMMMMMMM ... idk! But we are close. You don't know if you are together, but you are close? Is he a witness (Jehovah's Witness)? I wish. Ok, so, if he's not a witness why are you pursuing him? I thought you wanted to do this correctly. I am. He creeped in somehow. I have been praying about my desires. ...ok; so wait, seriously, isn't it counterproductive to be with this man? seriously ... it is (cant watch face) so, why are you torturing yourself? ... (embarassed face) ... I don't think this is a good idea. He is older and is probably thinking about marriage in the very near future. If you wouldn't marry him, I think you should end this - just my two cents. Don't think I haven't thought about this extensively, and ALL that would come of it. So you're going to pray yourself through a situation that you will never be comfortable with? Seriously, would you marry him? Be honest. I'm not praying to make it work. I don't know him well enough to tell you if he would be my husband. I'm praying I really weigh my options and be real with myself about the difficulty of marrying someone that doesn't have my fate. I can see us being together. Not my question, its not about knowing him well enough. I wouldn't marry and Atheist or a Muslim simply because I am a Christian and our faith base is totally different. So, I would never date one, I don't care how much I liked him. Ever? Ever. I mean, you are RIGHT. Our practices are too different and it would complicate rearing children. No ifs ands or buts about it? I have nothing against Muslims or Atheists and will surely be their friend. That's what's most important, the kids. And, you have a daughter. I feel you. You could confuse her with his faith if you'd like. And, I plan on having more (children). Just things to consider. I feel you. Im not trying to confuse her. What you are saying is right and things I think about daily and just need to apply.

The Blog

Why, moreso than not, do people do things with people that they have no business doing? People date to get to know each other more deeply in preparation of marriage. If you know they are not someone you would marry, why do you date them? Literally, we are overanalyzing valuable emotions. The valuable emotion (love) is being taken for so much more than it needs to be taken for.

People think "i love him" is going to save them from abuse. People think "i love him" is going to save them from pain. People think "i love him" is going to save them from heartache. People think "i love him" is going to save the children from confusion. People think "i love him" is going to save them from divorce. People think "i love him" will get the bills paid. People think "i love him" will keep him from cheating. (this does go both ways, i love him, i love her, keyword being love) Love is simply that ... LOVE.

Love is an emotion. Love is a feeling. Love is a choice. Love is a decision. You, whether consciously or subconsciously vow to love someone, for however long you choose to do so. I, personally, choose to love everyone. But I walk into love knowing everyone I choose to love will not be in my life forever. People have reasons for being in my life.

People are in my life to teach me lessons, to make me feel feelings, to help me overcome situations and to simply be a stepping stone to something greater. In the aforementioned conversation, it may or may not be love; but it is definitely a lesson.

If you pray for a man, a husband, God will send you that - at least, that is my belief. However, I think God will also test you. He will see if you are patiently waiting or anxiously waiting. In the situation above, it seems a little more like anxiety than anything else. If the apple is eaten, God knows this Eve is not quite ready for her Adam. Not that He will give up on the delivery, but he will indeed postpone it. Again, my belief.

So, what do you do? Do you continue to literally, overanalyze valuable emotions? Or, will you be patient and walk in the faith that you claim to have and want to have and wait for your LOVE to come for you?

just thoughts,

ahava.

g.

Mountain Climbing

"for every mountain, you've brought me over;

for every trial, you've seen me through;

for every blessing, Hallelujah;

for this I give you praise."

Perfect radiation arising in simple experiences

is usually when people praise.

When goodness is radiating through their hemisphere,

when perfection is rising up through every experience,

the praise is there.

But, what happens when we are down?

What happens when we hit a mudslide and roll down the hill?

What happens when we trip over a rock and tumble down the mountain?

What happens when we experience life?

WE LIVE, LOVE and LAUGH.

We live: meaningfully, joyfully and truthfully.

We love: selflessly, kindly, and infinitely.

We laugh: whole-heartedly, robustly, and truly.

In life, if things were perfect we would be in heaven on earth.

But, if we never went through hell, we wouldnt truly be thankful for the heaven that we reach.

It's like we are not spoiled.

We are not spoiled because we do not get everything we want (perfect lives).

But, we are blessed, because we are able to walk down paths not knowing where they will take us.

We are blessed because we get to travel without roadmaps.

Sure, we hit some traffic, construction... even accidents.

But, we are even more blessed because God slowed us down by the accident,

we werent in the accident.

We are blessed because God slowed us down with the traffic, but didn't close the route.

We are blessed because we are able to see the new construction people are doing.

Long story short, we are climbing a mountain ...

Its like life is our stairway to heaven.

With every step we take,

with every spiral we have,

with every missing brick,

whatever the issues are in the staircase -

we make it through.

Keep on living, because when you begin to exist you have plateaued.

There is no need to plateau in your awesomeness,

keep growing and making it the best mountain climb imaginable.

ahava,

garnet

...breathe.again...

We do well together
But, that's just it -
it's us, doing well for us.
We don't have the influence of others,
we dont ask people to help us work,
we just do us, and us, works.

With each layer, we get a little closer
and a little happier.

I like to say its God speaking to us.

At the point that we might be comfortable,
He reveals that next thing that makes our hearts smile.
To me, love is like wlaking through air -
not something that should be forced.
And, just when you remember you are breathing,
there is that little surprise that takes your breath away.

*heart.smile*
its time to breathe again,
and for some,
breathe - for the first time.

ahava.
garnet

on friday, the nineteenth day in november
the year of two thousand ten

Selfless Love

2, September, 2010


"Those that are hardest to love usually need love the most."

Love, selflessly.

Love, generously.

Love, intelligently.

Love, meaningfully.

Love, carefully.

Love, genuinely.

Love, always.

real eyes realize real lies, part 2

.

on the fourth day of august I had a conversation,

and, on the the fifth day of august in the year of two thousand ten,

i wrote about it

this is it

.

it is always interesting to both hear people talk about love and discuss love with other people

i seemingly view love differently

for all of you bible readers out there, 1 Cor 13 is what people should "view" love as

love is patient, love is kind .....

so many people are functioning based on pure likeability.

people do things out of spite because they do not like what a person did to them

people spoil others because they liked what the other did to them

but its not about likeability

its about love

in love, we need space and consistency. as i told my bff, sporadic consistency may just be best

i need to know when you need to be alone

but i also need to know when you need me close by

be it platonic love, romantic love, familial love ...

the type of love does not matter

the fact that it is love means you need to treat it as such

when i was little my mother said (after one of my lying sprees, as children do): "i have to love you, i am your mother, therefore i always will; however, if you lie to me, i will not trust you, and if i do not trust you, i can not like you."

in life, my focus is love. i want to love you, always, all of you.

yes, you will get on my nerves and push my buttons,

but that does not mean i need to stop loving you.

yes, you will probably hurt me emotionally,

but that does not mean i need to stop loving you.

someone once said "you can never be a fool in love, it is those that reject love that become the fools"

i agree totally and completely with that

love is not tit for tat

it is never 50/50

because i may be loving you the best i know how

and it may just not be good enough

you may be loving me the best you know how

and it may just not be good enough

but, if its love, it will forever be good enough

because "love always wins."

at the end of the day, when all is said and done, i have your best interest at heart

even if we never speak again, i have loved you. i do love you. and, i always will love you.

there is nothing greater than the action of love.

there is nothing better than the feeling of love.

there is nothing more genuine than to be in love.

experiencing love is a roller coaster ride

its not what others always say

yes flowers are involved, and exotic vacations

but when its love

"being stuck in the basement, sitting on a tricycle"

is still one of the best experiences you could ever have

love always,

g.

...like you'll never see me again

the second day of august in the year of two thousand ten

If you didn't have any time left to be wherever you are right now, would you cherish the things that you experienced there? If you could never see the last person you saw, how would that change your life? If you could never speak to the last person you spoke to, would you care?

Life is taken for granted far too often.

It's interesting how people continue to live without attaining what they want. To me, thats simply existing, and I'm just not interested. There are a few things I have always wanted:

1. to help people

2. to be in a mutual love (have a husband, and children: a family!)

3. be happy

To some, the three aforementioned items are simple. But, I don't think you can be a fool in love. I am, however, a firm believer that those that do not accept love are the fools. Why do so many people settle. They settle with jobs instead of searching for a career. They settle with like instead of working for love. They settle ... in life ... thinking they will have a second a chance, or a chance to do this forever.

My brother once said, "I knew (she) was the one because I could replace her in songs that used (God)." #deep First, I thought he was psycho. But now, after pondering on that statement, God is love. If you can not sing about going to work, you probably don't love your job. If you can't sing about your friends, you probably don't love those friends. If you can't sing about your life, you probably don't love your life. Why risk losing/not attaining happiness by forcing love out of your life when you could simple let love happen?

In case you are wondering, yes, I love you.

g.