[[52WeeKS]]

11, december, 2008
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((thoughts)) "Imagine waking up one morning and finding a piece of yourself you didn't even know existed." - Jodi Picoult -
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((words)) Every day of my life, I live to learn. I live to experience something that will have a positive impact on me. In my quest to change the world, I must make an attempt to let life happen; controlling that which I can, but, accepting that which I can not. I made a promies [52 weeks] to let go... let go of those that have an unnecessary hold on my life; let go of that which keeps me sheltered; let go of the things that knowingly make me unhappy. It is amazing how much I shield other people's feelings in order to protect our relationship(s) - but, that just adds tension to me and mine. So far, I have realized its the simple things that make me happy. I speak as I desire. I think uncontrolled thoughts. I suppress feelings. If I love you, I tell you. If I like you, I tell you. But, if I don't desire to carry you into the next season - - - I freeze. I freeze solid in my tracks as if I'm a child that is not tall enough to climb out of the avalanche. I walk blindly, trying my darndest not to hurt whomever is ahead of me. But, then I remember my place. My place is a sheltered place. I am supposed to listen and not speak. I am supposed to agree, not show an opinion. Right? Wrong! The people I met then didn't know me, but I was young and naive. I looked up to them. But, the me I was then is not the me I am now. [52 weeks] I will not reach the complete Garnet until I wake up at the gates of heaven - because then I would've learned everything God needed me to know. I apologize for hurting you, dissapointing you or upsetting you. I'm glad I excited you, made you smile, made you happy. But - 52 weeks - we will see where I am, where the road leads me and where the wind blows me. In 52 weeks I will be happy. I will be changed. I will be alone. This is my solidarity. This is my serenity. I ate, now I will pray, but all in all i will love: most importantly, myself first than others. [52 weeks]
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((the purpose)) i am not a writer. i am a thinker. i am not an adult. i am, merely, a child living in an adults world. i am not perfect. i try to love, more than anything else. i try to help, even if i am not sure how. but my purpose is to change the world. yes, i have big dreams, i have high hopes, and i have enough faith to claim it as my reality. no, i am not trying to change the world because of Barack Obama. no, i am not trying to change the world because there is a recession. i am trying to change the world because i was born. i was not born to ride on the backs of my ancestors. i was not born to walk the path of the former walking abled people. i was not born to assist in the projects that were once started by someone that is now famous. i am here to make a difference based on what i know, what i love, what i cherish and the vision i have.
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i am in japan, yes. i am a teacher, yes. i love my children, yes. if someone asked me who my idol was, i would say noone because i do not idolize anyone in the flesh. but, if someone, in turn, asked me who my hero was i would say them. well, who is them? them are the children that i teach. them are the children i have yet to teach. them are the children that i met when i volunteered. them are the girls that i was a big sister to in college. them are the youth in the world that are naive to the bitterness and hate of life. i may be mature, but my maturity comes form paying attention and knowing my place. why children? children still have hope, adults are usually set in their ways. you can help children be what they want to be, because they think the sky is the limit, as they should.
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... [52 weeks] will continue.
...please come again,
g.

happy.thanksgiving

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27.november.2008
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in a place where they do not observe, reserve, or celebrate the best holiday in my book, i still give thanks. every day i wake up and give thanks for another day in the life, my life.
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i am thankful for GOD, my mother, my father, my brother, my life. I am thankful for my best friend, my breath, and my sexy six. I am thankful for Toy and Jai, Jin and Jay. I am thankful for Yoshi. I am thankful for my experiences, my opportunities, and my travel experience(s). I am thankful for my generational gaps in my family (yes, they are ridiculously significant to me). I am thankful for love...
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i could go on for seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, generations, centuries, eternity .....
Thanksgiving is not just a day, it is a lifelong experience.
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I am thankful for life, but surprisingly, I am thankful for death. I am thankful for babies, yet I am thankful for adults. I am thankful for lyrics, and I am thankful for rhythms. I am thankful for food, but also thankful for hunger. I am thankful for sight, but also thankful for blindness. I am thankful for hearing, but deafness. I am thankful for endowments, and struggles. I am thankful for debates and agreements. I am thankful for intellect and ignorance. I am thankful for all that makes me whole, and the things that make me incomplete ... for those things are what keep me living instead of merely existing.
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happy thanksgiving,
what are you thankful for?

rememberance....

13. November. 2008

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Remembering Fall 2008. May You All Rest in Peace.
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. Lille Mae Jordan Tabor
. Zenobia Hikes
. Leon Gillard
. Mrs. Oatis
. Delthea Bryson

21 years, + 1

(november 10, 2008)
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. november 11, 2007 8:20 pm .
. location: cheesecake factory, atlanta, ga
. it all started with a birthday dinner with me and the bro in atlanta georgia. we had just had a crazy talk with the waitress about how we were twins, and she was a twin too. then my mother called, my phone, to speak to my brother, yeah, that was weird. anywho, she told him whatever she told him and he then handed the phone to me. i was slightly confused because he had a blank stare on his face. well earlier that day a friend called me to ask me how i was because of the unwanted circumstances. but i digress. my mother then asked to speak with me as the words left her mouth ... i could tell she had been crying "geeper died." thats all i got, so i was confused, clearly. "um, what do u mean?" clearly i am intelligent and i know what death is and i know who geeper was so why didnt those words mean anything to me at that point. she spoke longer and longer but the room just stopped, the air stopped, the noise stopped, i think i went deaf temporarily, then i chimed back in. "mom, my brother died today?" she responded "yes." i dont even remember saying i love you to her, or good bye, i think i just hung up the phone. we sat in silence for a minute, got our dessert to go, i think, and said "we have to go now." my brother wouldn't let me go home i had to go to his place and i had to sleep on the couch our brother gave him for his apartment. i couldnt sleep all night. i was in such shock, in awe, just confused. which, to me, was rather interesting, because i had the feeling a month earlier oct. 19th while receiving the news about Fe. life is crazy sometimes. its crazy how you play this game knowing you cant get out alive .... its crazy.
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. so, again, i ask... "what do you say about a man that leaves you speechless, not because you do not have any words to say but because the words you think up are not good enough." what do you say about a man that is kind, intelligent, loving, silly, admirable, honest and God-fearing. what do you say about a man that was always there for you even when you dont remember asking him to be. what do you say about a man that leaves your life, because God called him home. all i can think to say is "thank you God, and Geep I love you."
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.God - i say thank you for allowing him into heavens gates with no hesitation. i say thank you for letting me have him for so long. i thank you for letting him be a son, and a husband. i thank you for letting him be a brother and an uncle. i thank you for letting him be a godfather and love sports. i thank you for giving him a voice that quiets every noise. i thank you for giving him the jokes to keep me smiling. i thank you for giving him the drive to work through the pain. i thank you for his rumination of love. i thank you for his spirit. i thank you for not letting him suffer. i thank you for the liberation.
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.Geep, i say i love you because i mean it. i say i love you because you helped me through so much and taught me so much more. i love you because you were a brother to me. i love you because you loved me. i will never forget what was said that day in july leaving the car wash and heading to the potato place. im not sure why you said it, but i thank you for saying it. im sure it was God telling me and not u, but i got the message. this has been the longest year of my life, it has seemed like forever. but im thankful for the 21 years before this one ... they will forever be in my mind heart and spirit. i miss you, and i love you.
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. always, garnet.terri
. oh, im sure you had a party but, Obama won! im sure he appreciates your vote too ;-)

hmmmm...

6. November. 2008

so - i dont really have anything to say.
but, as promised, for the next 8 years of my life
(minus those days that i dont have access to the internet)
i will comment on the wonderful changes being made in my nation!
yes its mine ... i own it, just kidding.
but seriously - our nation has made some major strides,
in the past year and 9 months!
in february of 2007 a qualified black man ran for presidency.
no, not the first to run, but the first to get nominated,
the first to win!
barack obama, seen through the eyes of men and women, children, dogs, random animals,
martians, mutants, angels and GOD is the president of the USofA.
...one nation, under GOD!
thank God it is an OBAMAnation ...
thats love.

((i am garnet and i approve this message!))

prayers...

5. november. 2008

...for Obama
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Prayer of Thanksgiving with the election of President Elect Barack Obama

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God we thank you for the election of President Elect Barack Obama. We thank you for showing us in him a new song to sing. We thank you for his example of diligent hard work, careful planning, inclusion and involvement on every level for every person who desired to participate. In his election we see living proof that you have not forgotten your children who were brought to these shores in slavery, endured the indignity of segregation, and the crises of contempt in modern civilization. We pray for the safety of our new president and his family. We pray that you will order his steps in a way that is pleasing to you. We pray that his election will not only increase prosperity and wealth in America, but that it will spark a positive change in attitude around the world. Under his leadership we pray that America will find new ways to feed the hungry, heal the sick, provide work to those who are unemployed, care for the elderly , educate the young and lead a war torn world to the altar of peace. Through Jesus Christ our Lord we pray. Amen.

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(Please share this prayer)
Written by Rev. Nicholas Hood III
Pastor of the Plymouth United Church of Christ
600 E. Warren Ave.
Detroit, Michigan 48201
www.puccdetroit.org

...no.words.

i think,
for the next 8 years,
every day i am going to write somewhere
I HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!
(garnet approves that message)

just for giggles