22 October 2008

skype me baby ...

22, october, 2008
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so toy and i were having our regularly nightly morning conversation. and todays random profound psychic comment was this .....
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me: "so, i think im going to stop talking to him. i forget how much i love him sometimes. its like i fall in love with him all over again every time we have a conversation. sometimes i fall in love several times in the conversation. you know, those aha moments like wow i really love him?"
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toy: "have you ever just tried turning those thoughts off?"
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me: have u ever tried to ignore love? it just holds u captive and smacks u in the face[. love is that one emotion that can take you to your highest highs and lowest lows but loves you enough to only share the highs with u ... maybe some mids every now and again. love is a release, its a drug that you are forever addicted to or never want to try and sometimes a little bit of both. love is dumb! [lol.] love is oxymoronic and violent but soft and gentle. love plays hide and seek very well but when u forget to look for it sometimes it scares the buhJESUS out of u.
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just thoughts on paper ...

real.eyes...realize...real.lies

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[22 october 2008]
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"my eyes are green, 'cuz I eat a lot of vegetables"
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2 months, soon approaching, but so much has been revealed.
i have realized i have been lying to myself for far too long.
ok, maybe not lying, that sounds extreme.
but i was sure scared to be introduced to myself.
have you ever been introduced to yourself?
it is a very strange reality check.
but since i have been in japan, i have realized quite a few things about myself.
... here goes something (or nothing, depending on how you look at it, i consider it positive improvement, but you can consider it negative reinforcement.)
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1. my name is garnet, it means red, it also means flower and it is also a stone, but in japanese its ganetto (though they can actually say garnet, its kind of funny)
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2. my middle name is terri (no im not giving u the full government) and my aunt used to call me little terri, i honestly hated it because i thought she just didnt know my name. i also hated it because i was not little terri, that meant i wasnt an individual.
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3. i love to read. whoever told me i couldnt understand stuff lied, lol, just kidding, i really cant. but i like reading. i may not remember what i read before but i like reading in the moment, the revelations are amazing.
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4. im a control freak. why didn't you all tell me this? sheesh! its an interesting control freak-ism though. but it explains a lot.
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5. i hold family in the highest esteem. no i dont talk to my family every day, but cross them and its not a good look for u.
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6. i love to write. im not that good at it but i love doing it.
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7. i love teaching, maybe not in the professional setting, but i love helping out the people that have not had a chance to help themselves out.
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8. i love love. i am in love. thats all!
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9. i have a best friend. (no mo, not u, lol) that best friend means more to me than i ever realized. that friend epitomizes the ((garnet)) definition of a best friend ... maybe tutu or someone said this, but, the defintion being "the person that knows u best."
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10. i met my soul mate once. i just now realized i didnt want to be with him forever; HOWEVER, he was a mirror for me, the person that showed me everything that was holding me back, the person that brought me to my own attention so i could change my life.
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11. i wear my wishbone where my backbone should be.
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12. im a dreamer.
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13. im determined.
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14. im very focused. people often told me i was not focused and i had thoughts all over the place but my mom saw it, everything i do comes back to the same goal.
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15. last (for now) "I'm scared of the future because of the scar the past left on my heart, so its hard for me to open my present and accept it as a gift..." (c) Garnet 2008
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this is my post for today,
love.

11 October 2008

i found my husband ...

[12, october, 2008]

so, today i decided im going to get on the workout grind for real. and, well, im cheap, so, all that "lets join a gym, lets buy weights, lets ..." is for the birds. y cant i just take advantage of my two phenomenal modes of transportation (my legs, and my bike). both of those are good for cardio, right? hey, why not .... im more active here than ive EVER been in my life! i did the gym thing, but it only worked when i had my fabulous trainer (props to j.dunn) and instructor for groups lessons (yay for syd). but in atlanta, yea right, i hated that stupid gym and i was not motivated to run on anyones treadmill. i hated running all together, most of the time.

so, i got up today, hung up my clothes, (yes i have a washer but no dryer, which i will get to shortly) ate some frosted flakes, and went for an (at least) 8 mile bike ride. I live in Japan and the mountains are beautiful, but i can only see them in the distance. so, today i decided to take a trek just to see where i live. the vegetation is beautiful here. as i was riding i saw some restaurants, some shops, some homes, a baseball diamond with what appeared to be a little league game, some ravens (those birds are ridiculously huge), some ladies walking their dogs, and again ... the mountains. as i listened to my ipod, the motivation playlist (better known as gospel) i thought, i want to marry Jesus. i know that sounds crazy because im DEFINITELY already married to Jesus. But today, i thought it in the thankful sense.

all of my life i have loved fast cars, expensive shoes, and fine dining. blame it on whoever you want, but, i realize, i came here to be reintroduced to the simple things. i love the fact that i can walk and just see the world. i never realized why grandma never got her license, but driving allows you to miss a lot of stuff. i see random shops, and whats in them. i am able to truly look at the architecture(sp?) and admire it. i am able to look at the children running about and smile at them. i am able to look at the spiders and think "oh what web we weave." i am able to watch the birds fly, look at the flowers, shoot, smell the air.

i love it here. but more importantly, i love being at a point where i am able to truly fall in love with me. falling in love with love was fun, but then it became depressing, lol. falling in love with yourself is a wonder in the world of wonders. it does not form conceit, but instead it allows you to understand what u truly love, want, and need in your life. it allows you to understand wealth, both financially and personally.

that is my blog for today...
love.

09 October 2008

flamingos and puerto ricans

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a simple conversation began about God and how he works. a friend and i began talking about her life and how God already claimed it to be, of course more was said than that. but we began the topic of careers and words began to manifest in my thoughts and i began to write them down on paper. sometimes i have great ideas that i would like to share, and other times i just like to hear myself talk. well, this time, i dont know what it is/was but this is what it came to be...

Friend::..
you always have interesting emails,
and blogs

Me::..
oh, thank you
i want to write a blog today aobut our pizza party at work, but i dont feel like it, lol
i just honestly feel like my purpose in this life was to change minds one person at a time, thus changing the world...
i usually use myself to "minister" to the world because ive been through a lot
there are some things i have never experienced (like a broken heart from an ex-boyfriend)
but the biggest thing people NEED in life, to change, is death; and Lord knows ive experienced that
so i see most things VERY differently than the average joe ... and i just feel like if i say something it will touch someone ...
and just little things like i know EXACTLY what i want to do in life, now, getting there, God only knows... but people have always told me "ur all over the place" no, i have a lot of interests, yes, but i am very focused.
i want to help people.
yes, i could be a doctor, but how many people do you REALLY help
or i could be a simple psychologist, and do therapy
but why cant i be a business woman, a philanthropist, a counselor, a researcher, and an inventor (of sorts)
God created this simply complex individual for some reason, why cant i use all of my thoughts for the greater good and goal of happiness?
((and this is my new blog))
thanks ;-)

Addendum: since I'm here ....
I know my blog is grammatically incorrect; however, I use certain writings for emphasis, thank you for understanding.
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Now, about this pizza party ...
We had a pizza party at work today. We ordered 3 medium pizzas (meat lovers, chicken teriyaki, bacon and mushroom), 1 large lasagna, 5 chicken nuggets with cheese in them, 5 spicy chicken wings, small potato wedges, large potato wedges. Now, with this order we received 1 fork, 3 packs of hot sauce, and the food. Mind you, this was an order for 8 people. The pizzas were the size of a bambino, ok, MAYBE a small pizza from an American Pizza Hut. The lasagna could have easily filled one hungry black man, actually, it wouldve been his appetizer. There were no plates, we used paper. There were no napkins, rarely ever are in Japan, so we used kleenex. There were no utensils so we tore the dividers from the boxes (they were about the size of an insert that goes in a mens dress shirt under the collar) and made spoons.
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It was a very interesting "lunch date." Its always funny because ALL of our conversations are bilingual, usually the JTs (nihon-jin sensei) speak nihongo and then they will speak a bit of english and the FTs (amerika-jin sensei) will usually speak english and then speak a bit of japanese. Anywho, todays discussion was on recycling.
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They are ANAL about recycling. the plastic bottles must be separate from the plastics and you must remove the labels and tops. The burnables (paper, food) are separated. The aluminum is separated. The glass is separated. The biggest problem in all of this is EVERYTHING comes individually packaged so it takes a lot to separate things. And, when people dont know where or how to recycle it they usually just take it to 7/11 and recycle it. The craziest thing about this is the garbage men have to separate the separated trash. So, if you recycle wrong, you are making someones job even worse.

and that, my friends, is my new blog.
ahava...

(now that you have reached the end of the blog
i am sure you have noticed that the blog had NOTHING to do with flamingos
OR Puerto Ricans, but it popped in to my head so i wrote it down, lol, love.)

05 October 2008

Nippon ... Nihon .... Nihon-jin

People continue to ask me to write more, but there is so much to say that I don't know where to begin. As you all know I am in Nippon, also known as Nihon, better known as Japan. I take an adventure every day of my life now ... adventuring in another country is the best life I could ever ask for. I must say, to all of the people reading this that have not travelled or experienced another culture in some way shape or form, please do so.

A friend of mine, and I, have a continued discussion about how Americans do not have culture. This is a very sad thought but if you think about it, what is the culture? Is your culture giving presents on Christmas Day and shooting guns on New Years. What about - bbqing in the summer and going to the club on Saturday night. Name one thing that is specific to JUST America. Exactly! You are probably still thinking. The only thing that we could come up with was baseball.

But, when you consider nihon-jin (japanese people) they have so much culture, so much wealth, so much prosperity, so much truth, so much! They have specific things they do with their family, which is mostly everything. They vacation as a culture. They do a lot of things. There are some things that I find very interesting about these people though.

Nihon-jin are extremely fashionable. For those that know me know, Im not fashionable or stylish - I just wake up and put on clothes that match. But in Japan everyone has Gucci and Louis Vuitton because its normal. It does not bother them that a purse costs 100,000jpy, thats just normal to them. Its normal to them to go spend their cash at Zara, Gap Woman (exclusive to Japan), Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Dolce and Gabana (sp?). It is normal to them to dress their children in the best designer fashion on the face of this planet. It is normal to them to spend more money time and effort on fashion then it is, lets say, transportation. Most people in Japan do not have cars, though they are not a necessity, its just interesting. If I called my most materialistic fashionable friend and suggested he gets rid of his car in order to only wear LV, Gucci, Feragamo (sp?), Cartier, Rock and Republic and shop at Saks and Neimans, I dont know if he would. Though all of those names are big to him, being able to get around is more important because he may be to bougie to catch the public transportation, unless he lives in New York. When I think about necessities in life, it seems to me that the necessities of this country are vastly different form in America. I also find it very interesting that they only use cash. It is very rare that they own credit cards. HOWEVER, they could charge something with their cell phone! Yes, they can use their cellular devices to charge something, crazy, right?

I am making an attempt to learn nihongo (japanese) and it is quite challenging. After you learn the vowels you can spell everything, which is great, but then you dont know what it means, lol. Its also interesting because the rules of japanese language are so intense that if i say akita (uh-kee-ta) they have no idea what i am talking about because they say (ah-kee-tah). Yes, very different in japanese. They have various ways of contact, the syllabification is amazing, and the sentence structure is difficult. Example: akita desu ka. translates to: akita where is question mark. They do not have question marks, periods, etc. They have inflections for most statements and ka represents a question. Its very interesting.

In other news, I went out with my conet, manager and managers husband yesterday and it was so much fun. We started our journey to Osaka at about noon and headed to a mexican restaurant, el pancho, that was GREAT! Then we ventured off into the wonderful world of shopping. It was cold and rainy, but it was a good day. We also went to the international store (jupiter) and got some goodies. Thats all I have to say about that day, I cant remember what I wanted to blog about.

Additionally, yesterday was Sunday which means, CHURCH! So, in church (ray of hope, online) the preacher (rev. jaz, guest preacher, its revival) spoke on the year of new beginnings and coming from behind in order to take over. So yesterday I experienced a Happy New Year type of situation. Since Ive been in Japan I have learned a tremendous amount of information. I have learned about love, prayer, life, self, intelligence, intellectualism, desires, interests, wants, needs, travel, culture, language, decision making, independence, dependency, fake-isms, and probably a host of other things. But, the most important part of the sermon I grasped is "even though you are experiencing an issue you are not the issue." For so long I have been experiencing issues ... life and death, loyalty and dishonor, & love and hate. Everything that bothers me has resolved around those three differences. But the pastor also said something else, "you are at your lowest point today. God is using you to create a new better being and you will never be at this point again. You are not the first to experience what you are experiencing and you wont be the last so you must simply push past this, sew your seed and move on." For those of you that don't know I am a religious and spiritual person. I believe in a higher being and I believe that everything happens for a reason. I have always seen myself as the woman that will change the world, one person at a time. I have always been that girl that will love everyone, often before she loves herself. But now that I am gone, I am realizing so many people and relationships that I had while I was at home were irrelevant. I had a lot of salt inflicted wounds because of the company I kept. I was not a happy person and I was not able to see my unhappiness until I started experiencing happiness. Example: I took care of my grams for the summer as well as my dads puppy. Now, as crazy as it seems I was happiest in the simple moments. I was happiest when lillie mae, yoshi and i would be in the front yard laying, sitting and standing ... talking about random stuff like the leaves on the trees. I was happiest when I would pick grams up and she would talk about Barack Obama, how that woman was so in the know, i still dont know. The days that we talked about why it rains, and why flowers are purple or laughed at yoshi because he is secretly a human - those were the days that I loved. Its amazing that through death I continue to find life. As I looked at Geeper for the last time I knew that I had some sort of purpose. I knew that he fulfilled a purpose that was so great noone could ever forget his memory and the legacy of love he left. When I saw grams take her final breath after I told her she could go now because I could handle it, I felt a sense of rebirth. And in the sermon I realized my storm is not quite over yet, but my rainbow is forming through the raindrops. I like this place I am in now. I like the feeling of creating a person on the basis of love (God creating the Garnet he wants) and me falling in love with that person. If you do not love yourself, first, how do you expect someone to love you unconditionally.

This is my post ....
hope you enjoyed.
ahava

22 September 2008

Konichiwa ... Son!

(c) BRIgArNet: Nagoya
Today was a great day!
When I woke up this morning I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Brian and I decided we were going to Nagoya but that meant I had to catch two trains to get there, and last I remember, I do NOT speak japanese! But, alas, I, being the resourceful person I am MADE IT, in one piece on time! As soon as I got to the Nagoya station I got a map and figured out where the Hilton Hotel was (brian and I were meeting outside). It was a nice little trot but the city is beautiful. First stop - LAWSONS for some batteries for my camera and some water. After that I walked under the train station, over the river and safely arrived at the Hilton. As I arrived, this hotel was magnificent. It looked like a ritzy jazz club on the main floor, and it had high class shopping on the second floor. There was a "maserati photo shoot" outside of the side entrance to the hotel. Well, Brian "Mr. Starbuck Addict" was across the street at the Starbucks but we finally found each other. For lunch, we decided against being adventurous and went to the Hard Rock Cafe across from the Hilton. We were both so hungry it was ridiculous. Nagoya is a high business city so there were a lot of black and white people around, it was very strange but very nice. We were planning on going to the aquarium but mr. planner man decided not to find out when it was open until this morning and of course, its closed on monday. So, we decided to go to this garden instead. Instead of taking the subway or a taxi we decided to walk ... yes ... walk ALL FIVE KILOMETERS to this garden. On the way we took a detour over a bridge (which was merely a street overpass) and through a park (that had a magnificent water fountain, a sand field, dogs playing frisbee, a japanese man playing an african drum next to a tent, and japanese business people sitting around maxing and relaxing). After the park we took another detour over another bridge (overpass) and finally got back to our route. We kept walking a little further and found this random group of temples. So, as foreigners we stopped in, walked through and took lots of pictures. Brian then decided he was going to be a Buddhist for the day and attempted to do the traditional Buddhist things but alas, he doesnt speak Japanese nor is he a Buddhist so it was funny watching him attempt these traditions. So, then we decided to stop at 7/11 (yes, they are everywhere) get some more water and attempt to buy our baseball tickets. Well, that 7/11 didnt sell the tickets so we just continued our walk. Probably half way there we looked at the clock and realized it was 4:30, well we only had an our to view this park, so we hailed a taxi. When we got to the park it was beautiful, but again it was a Buddhist park with Buddhist traditions. Again, Brian attempted to be a Buddhist, but this time, all of the natives laughed hysterically. When you enter the park you are supposed to purify yourself by washing your hands and face. Then you are supposed to go to this stairway and clap for the Gods. Then you are supposed to bow on your way out. Well, Brian started at the clapping, lol. Oh rewind ... when we first entered, there were chickens, HUGE chickens, that kept attempting to fly. Where they came from? Not so sure ... I should have stolen one to cook it. Just kidding. LOL. Fast forward... so Brian and I were taking pictures and what not and i started scratching my arm as he began to scratch his leg. We both ignored it and just said, hey, its japan and we probably got the cooties. So on our way to get some MORE water, Brian decided he was going to purify himself. Well, instead of washing his face and hands he washed his hands and drank the water. Lord, I think the japanese people that were purifying themselves almost had a heart attack they were laughing so hard. We finally got to the refreshment area and my arm was now red, Brian said it was the water, I said i didnt drink any. I had 5 mosquito bites and he had 3. We then decided it was time to go. So, we walked over yet another bridge (overpass: I keep calling them bridges because they are massive) and hailed a taxi. This taxi driver was hilarious. He spoke English and of course we were speaking japanese, so we began to laugh at each other. It was great! We got to the train station and then headed to the baseball game. We saw a little boy and Brian had a field day because they both had team clappers and wristbands, it was precious. Moving right along, genius boy decided it was time to get off the train, the boys mother and sister did as well. But the boy stayed on the train and then the mom and sister ran back on and Garnet and Brian are stuck waiting 4 minutes for the next train because we got off a stop early. When we get to the station (ozone, lol, oh-zo-nay) we make our way to the stadium. And of course, the game is sold out, because they go hard with the baseball. So, we get some tickets, cough, and proceed in the stadium. I too bought clappers (they are a necessity in japanese baseball) and we made our way to our seats, oh wait, after getting food. I got a shrimp burger and fries, brian got a steak burger and fries. Both were delish! As the game begins I felt like I was at a college football game. Both teams have pep squads, WITH musical instruments (trumpets, drums, etc.). And, the home team has cheerleaders, ha! This baseball game was awesome. ((Oh and I found a black guy in Japan, he plays baseball for the Dragons, I am trying to plot to meet him, lol.)) Anyway, after the game Brian and I parted (deciding on going to Toba next weekend) and I made it home in one piece.
It was a great day.
Great adventure in Japan.
love.
g.

21 September 2008

iPraise (take 2)

Ray of Hope Christian Hope
((Rev. Dr. Cynthia Hale))
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Rev. Taft Quincey Heatley
..."Security is found in God alone"...
Psalm 62: 1-2
today's service was bomb
just what the doctor ordered ;-)
if you cannot get to your church home
(or a church home)
check out streaming faith