May 10, 2009
I have not blogged lately about my journey. I have talked about lent. I have talked about love. But, I have yet to talk about life ... well, recently.
For those of you religious heads, spiritual minds, and those that simply believe in something larger than yourself, you should be familiar with sacrificial blessings. Sacrifice, as defined by www.dictionary.com, is "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim."
Well, part of the reason I came to Japan was to sacrifice myself. I know that sounds crazy, right? Well, I, Garnet, am a very caring being. I often put others before myself. I am often selfless when I should (could) be selfish. And, for me, I needed to sacrifice. I needed to sacrifice myself for, well, myself. In moving, I sacrificed comfortability. In moving, I sacrificed knowledgeability. In moving, I sacrificed functionality. In moving, I sacrificed everything I have come to know for something I had no idea about. This, so far, has been the best move of my life. I do not think I understood the full meaning of a sacrificial blessing, but, now, I have my own interpretation.
I have sacrificed comfort, function, knowledge, habit... for a life that I now love. The blessings have been amazing and I just realized how to take advantage of them. One, a friend and I went to a church service, the pastor said "Oh Lord, baby girl, you've been missing out on your blessings, you need to step aside." Well, for me, that was hard, that is hard, that may always be hard. But, being here has made it a bit easier.
What I have gained from this experience is MORE than amazing.
Right before coming here I "lost" my most recent inspiration. August 21st was hard for me, but, it restored something in me. It's not the big things in life that make you happy ... well, at least for me. Things that make you happy are the things that are the most simplistic. Being in Japan I have realized what I love has always been right at my finger tips, but I continue to shoo it away, not because I want to, but because others suggest it. Now, again, sacrifice. I would rather sacrifice the "relationship" of someone that is guarding my happiness so I can reach my blessing than hold on to the "relationship" and miss out on the blessing. Everything has a season, we have all heard that.
I have sacrificed bonding with those that I thought were near and dear to me to spend most of my time with 4 year olds that don't speak English and like to climb all over me. But, I was able to realize what I am working for. My road has not been travel, so it is the hardest journey to be on. I don't have a path to follow, I am creating my own. I don't have a support system that has been there, so I have no stories of advice. But, as for me, God's got this. I'd rather sacrifice a Range Rover and a few shopping trips to Saks to impact the children that cannot help themselves. My dream is my blessing and it is definitely attainable.
Right now, I am living out my sacrifice in order to receive my blessings. Japan is the best thing that has ever happen to me. And, as always, I will make my next move my best move.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for living with me. Thank you for waiting for my "Lent" to be over.
until ...
g.
((10, may, 2009))
1 comment:
Now that was deep. Lent, sacrafice, and those....ability words! One can never take too much time out of their lives to spend time with themselves, to plan for their futures, to be still and hear the voice of God....and then act on that word. You are a shinning star, a path maker, a sensitive one, a strong one a creative one and now it seems you are one at peace with yourself. Continue your journey, your way.
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